English Football’s Quirkiest Club Names!

English Football’s Quirkiest Club Names!

ONE can only imagine how opponents of Multiple Scorgasms react when they receive the official fixtures list at the dawn of a new football season… But you can probably guess it’s not with fear or trepidation - chances are it’ll be greeted with howls of unfathomable laughter at their name.

        

But don’t think for a second Multiple Scorgasms’ opponents are alone in their mirth.

And below is by no means an A to Z of ridiculous club monikers, more a mere taster:

Rivelino City

Inspired by midfield maestro, and star of the superb Brazil ‘70 World Cup winning squad, Roberto Rivellino, they currently compete in the Wimbledon & District League Third Division.

And ok, they’ve yet to rise to the dizzying heights of the Samba Kings in the Greater/South East London boundaries. But to be named after the man with the finest moustache and silky skills in the game demonstrates this team has a touch of class and splash of culture who appreciates how the game should be played.

Roberto Rivellino - and moustache

Total Network Solutions

Originally they were known as Llansantffraid FC until local computer outfit Total Network Solutions (TNS) stepped in with a sponsor deal and cash injection worth 250K - but only if the club renamed itself after their business – which they readily did.

At the height of their fame, TNS pulled in 30,000 spectators for a Uefa Cup tie with Manchester City – sadly they were spanked 7-0 on aggregate.

But alas it wasn’t all doom and gloom… viewers of Sky Sport’s Soccer Saturday was always in for a giggle if TNS had won at home. The programme's main presenter, Jeff Stelling would tease fans with his infamous catchphrase "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight!"

Cadbury Athletic F.C.

Set in the heart of sleepy Bournville in Birmingham, Cadbury have been delivering us delicious choccy delights since 1824.

And with such a tradition it’s little wonder the confectionery giant has bagged themselves an affiliated football club - right down to using the company's logo for a badge and corporate colours of purple and white as a kit. Apparently their away strip is chocolate brown.

Multiple Scorgasms

Founded in 2009, this six-a-side force plies their trade in the Brierley Hill Premier Division against other notable giants as Give us the Ball Back and Arselona.

And so far it’s been a spectacular start to their season, lying second in the league; having won seven and drawn one of eight games… go ‘gasms!

Now I know this last team isn’t British however no silly name football club list is complete without their involvement:

Deportivo Wanka

Hailing from the city of Huancayo in the Peruvian Andes, the team are named in honour of the indigenous Wankas people that used to live in the area.

Deportivo Wanka

In 2004, and struggling in the league, they shifted their home games to the oxygen sapping town of Cerro de Pasco, which is at an altitude of 4,380m (13,973ft) above sea level in an bid to gain advantage over their opponents. Sadly for the Wankas their ploy backfired as they were unable to avoid relegation.

In 2006, it emerged that Deportivo Wanka strips had become a firm favourite amongst British fans. At the time a club spokesman was quoted in The Sun as saying: "It is very strange. Everyone in Britain seems to think we have a funny name."