Week one: THE World Cup is a week old and already it’s left an indelible mark with dazzling football, shock results - and massive disappointment - if you happen to be English!

But aside from the silky skills on screen there’s a lot more going on at the World Cup than just football.

On Wednesday night Chile fans audaciously stormed the Maracanã to catch a glimpse of their team play Spain.

85 ticketless supporters were arrested before kick-off after they barged through the stadium’s media centre believing an historical night of football was in store. Alas, the prophecy was correct as the Chileans booted world champions Spain out of the tournament with a deserved 2-0 victory.

Now talking of the media, Mexico have triumphed in their bid to bring us the beautiful game in more ways than one…

Viewers in the North American country are in for a treat with bevy of beautiful presenters to keep them entertained including, Vanessa Huppenkothen, Mariana Gonzalez and Sainz Gallo.

Vanessa Huppenkothen, helping viewers enjoy the game.

Meanwhile Fox Sports have bagged Brazilian beauty Roberta Setimialso.

Brazil's sexy reporter Roberta Setimi.

On the flipside, ITV has opted for Adrian Chiles in brown shorts on the beach. It was perhaps that awful sight which lead one fan to hurl a massive rock at the studio’s glass frontage causing visible damage.

Hmmmmmmm

To not mention the troupe of toe-tapping national anthems on show would be a crime (or perhaps they just sound good belted out over a loud speaker in front of a pumped up crowd).

Either way pop-pickers here's the top 4. Bare in mind that liking the team is definitely not a prerequisite:

Brazil - Hino Nacional Brasileiro:

Argentina - Himno Nacional Argentino:

Germany - Das Deutschlandlied

Italy - Il Canto degli Italiani

Finally, why have some of the biggest teams binned their usual colours and opted for boring all-in-one-ensembles... Italy, England and Spain are all guilty of it?

It’s even worse for the poor Iranians, they’ve been told not to swap shirts at all for fear of running out of supplies. Let's hope they have enough pants to go round.

Speaking of which,... former Sevilla team-mates Ivan Rakitic of Croatia and Cameroon's Stephane M’bia swapped SHORTS after their World Cup clash - perhaps they have a surplus of them...

Croatia's Ivan Rakitic and Cameroon's Stephane M’bia think they're Superman

Week two: From opening day to Costa Rica's win over Italy, England’s competitive stay in the World Cup lasted 192.45 hours, or 7 days, 21hours and 45 minutes. 12 teams had yet to play a second group stage match.

Obviously England weren’t destined to win the Cup, but surely they should have made it into the second round?

Riddled with age, Italy was dire and failed to progress for a second successive tournament. Uruguay, equally poor, scraped through with four goals. Alas it was up to the sublime "Ticos", Costa Rica, to show the three former champions how to wrap up Group D in style.

Of course the talking point of week two was the ‘fang-tastic' exploits of Luis Suárez.

Against Italy, and heading for elimination, the Uruguayan striker lunged into Giorgio Chiellini in the Italian penalty box then sank his teeth into the poor defender’s shoulder.

While Chiellini and other Italian players remonstrated with the referee who’d missed the incident, Uruguay won a corner. Suarez delivered a perfect cross; Diego Godín rose highest to knock the ball into the net and in doing so sent the Italians home.

Although not technically part of the World Cup, here's a list of Suarez’s bizarre biting behaviour:

1) Suspended for seven games in 2010 for biting PSV Eindhoven's Otman Bakkal whilst an Ajax player.

2) In 2013 while playing for Liverpool he was suspended for 10 games for gnawing on the arm of Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic.

3) He's now earned a four month suspension from all football-related activity, including nine international matches for chewing on Giorgio Chiellini

Equally bizarre but for rather different reasons were the black-upped German fans watching their team play Ghana.

Which one of these blokes woke up, boot polish in hand, and thought this would be a brilliant idea..?

Thanks to selma_slim on Instagram for pointing this out! http://instagram.com/p/phMAaCCHrs/?modal=true

Imagine Angela Merkel or Prince Harry attempting something similar? Actually scrap the second one...

It would of course be political Seppuku.

What's not political Seppuku - probably more a PR masterstroke - is being spotted in the stands. And a whole host of the world’s top figures have latched onto to the idea including:

Belgium's King Philippe and Queen Mathilde
Jennifer Lopez
Angela Merkel
UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon
Prince Harry
Brazilian musician Gilberto Gil

Angela Merkel

Belgium's King Philippe and Queen Mathilde

Prince harry watches England battled Costa Rica in a 0-0 draw

But it's not all about PR and celebrities cheering on their country. Despite crossing half the globe to see their team finish bottom of Group C, Japanese fans stayed behind after their team's defeat to Cote d’Ivoire to clean up their section of the stand - apparently it's a tradition.

And finally, Alex Song picked up Cameroon’s eighth red card in their World Cup history. His relative Rigobert Song is one of only two players (along with Zinedine Zidane) to be sent off twice at World Cups, meaning the Song family is responsible for three of Cameroon’s eight reds!

So besides England and Italy, all the usual suspects have qualified with some mouth watering ties in place for the last 16:

Brazil v Chile Netherlands v Mexico Germany v Algeria France v Nigeria

Colombia v Uruguay Argentina v Switzerland

Costa Rica v Greece

Week three: The funniest thing to occur this week has to be the sight of Thomas Müller falling flat on his face in the run-up to his free-kick against Algeria.

Was it a devilishly clever dummy to unsettle a side that were proving harder to break down than expected, or did he fall arse about face?

The jury's out... but I like to think it's the latter.

A similar incident occurred later in the week during Argentina's quarter final clash with Belgium.

Moments After Gonzalo Higuain’s strike ricocheted off the bar astonished Argentina manager Alejandro Sabella leaned back a little too far for comfort. Thankfully he was caught by one of his backroom staff.

But the image of the tumbling Argentine instantly became the latest Photoshop meme from the tournament and so far he’s popped up doing Michael Jackson’s lean dance, starting a domino rally and being KO’d by Street Fighter's Ryu.

Right, well here we are in week three and nothing has been said about hair.

Or more precisely bad hair.

Well that needs to change, for as every football fan knows World Cups are notorious breeding grounds for players to chuck not only style but apparently their combs out the window too.

Chris Waddle’s memorable mullet and Rudi Voller's wet-look perm are just two choice cuts from yesteryear...

But this tournament is no exception.

So to celebrate this brave tradition below are my pick of the best Barnet buffoons so far:

1) Rodrigo Palacio

Words, or for that matter pictures, cannot do this style justice

2) Asamoah Gyan

Doesn't he have his number on his shirt?

3) Kyle Beckerman

Dreads suit Bob Marley, Billy Ocean - not Beckerman

4) Benoit Assou-Ekotto

The 70s are over

5) Sami Khedira

Looks like a WW1 fighter pilot with that slicked down centre parting

And talking of nasty sights...

Below's pics of a giant grasshopper clutching onto Colombia’s James Rodriguez shortly after his penalty strike against Brazil, shows the kind of creepy crawlies which inhabit the tropical climes of Northern Brazil. I bet Blackpool players don't suffer this problem!

Now it may look like crazy foam at bath time, but during this tournament we’ve had a chance to glimpse the latest weapon in the referee's arsenal: vanishing spray.

Designed to mark the 10 yards line on the pitch that the defending team must form a defensive wall and not encroach, the foam is making its debut at a major tournament after being trialled at last year's U-20 World Cup.

And aside from the odd ref getting berated by players who've had their marketable boots sprayed with the sticky stuff, the foam has been an overwhelming success with officials and players and will be introduced to the Premier League and Champions League next season.

Vanishing spray was used at the 2014 World Cup

Vanishing spray in action.

Sadly not all things in the tournament have been quite so successful, or readily accepted.

After a spate of deaths in football stadiums, Brazil imposed a ban on alcohol sales at all grounds in 2003.

But with Budweiser a major sponsor, FIFA has been accused of putting economic interests over the health and security of spectators by demanding a lift of the ban. And in what has been dubbed the "Budweiser Bill", Brazil's Congress appears to have acquiesced to the demand by voting in favor of allowing alcohol sales for the duration of the tournament.

Which begs the sorry question who is running Brazil this month, Budweiser, FIFA or President Dilma Rousseff?

But now we must end the week on a lighter note. And what better way then pitting man against machine. More importantly a man made machine hell bent on law and order!

Robots called Packbots have been hired by the Brazilian government, to help boost security during the World Cup.

The robots have heat vision, are super strong and light, and can even climb stairs. They're also equipped with rubber rounds and a water cannon - so be aware!

They have previously been used to help find and rescue people trapped in earthquakes.

Is it me or have the designers pinched their idea from Johnny Number 5, the robot from Short Circuit?

Packbots patrolling the stands at this years' World Cup

Johnny Number 5

Here are this weeks' scores:

Round of 16

Brazil 1-1 Chile Brazil win 3-2 on penalties Colombia 2-0 Uruguay

Netherlands 2-1 Mexico Costa Rica 1-1 Greece Costa Rica win 5-3 on penalties

France 2-0 Nigeria Germany 2-1 Algeria

Argentina 1-0 Switzerland Belgium 2-1 USA

Quarter Final

France 0-1 Germany Brazil 2-1 Colombia

Argentina 1-0 Belgium

Netherlands 0-0 Costa Rica (Netherlands win 4-3 on penalties)

Week four: July 13, 19:17: World Cup final, Estádio do Maracanã - Rio de Janeiro. 20:00

Two goliaths of the international game, Germany and Argentina, will lock horns tonight to decide who will be crowned world champions.

And if today’s showdown can live up to the rest of the tournament’s pulsating excitement and nerve jangling anxiety, we should be in for an absolute cracker.

So far Germany have been here eight times before.

Meanwhile La Albiceleste have trailed for just seven minutes in the entire competition.

It will be a tight match.

23:55

In a final flourish of quality deep into extra time, Mario Götze’s deft touch is enough to seal a one-nil victory in a hard fought encounter with few genuine chances.

Predictably fans celebrated the final whistle in very different style...

While 200 000 jubilant Germans thronged the streets of Berlin, clashes between Argentine fans and police made Buenos Aires look more like war-torn Bosina than the nation’s capital.

With thanks to RT LIVE http://rt.com/on-air

But one thing the Germans are is magnanimous and you can always rely on them to offer an olive branch.

Picture the scene, the final whistle’s blown; euphoric Germans spill out onto the streets to rejoice while Argentine fans wipe the streaky blue and white paint from their tear stained cheeks and console each other.

Suddenly there’s a knock at the door.

Hans from upstairs has heard his neighbour’s cries and has brought down a cake covered in their national flag to show there’s no hard feeling.

Of course they’re touched by their Teutonic neighbour’s tender gift, his generous offering, his token of peace...

But sniggering Hanz has other ideas as the sour Argentines slice into the delectable icing exterior:

https://twitter.com/faresende/status/488894252735152128/photo/1

Bravo!

Well week four sees us at the end of our journey into samba soccer, but it doesn’t mean this week’s stories are any less intriguing.

Perhaps one of the shortest stints of celebrity, even by Warhol’s standard, is 17 year-old Axelle Despiegelaere from Belgium.

Axelle Despiegelaere from Belgium.

After being spotted by L'Oreal cheering her team on against Russia, the young beauty was snapped up to star in a social media campaign.

Reports this week however reveal Axelle has already been dumped after a photo emerged of her posing with a rifle and a dead animal in Africa above the caption ‘Hunting is not a matter of life or death. It's much more important than that'.

I hope she gets stuffed and stuck on a wall like the poor animals she’s murdered – now that would make a pretty picture!

Speaking of fans, spare a thought for the poor Brazilians as they watched their team get ripped to shreds by Germany in an eye-popping 7-1 semi final defeat.

Not only is it the heaviest defeat seen at this stage of the tournament, it also become the most talked about sporting event in Twitter history.

According to Twitter Data the game provoked over 35.6 million tweets.

Now has anyone heard the official World Cup anthem, ‘We Are One (Ole Ola)’?

No?

I can’t say I’ve heard it played once on the radio, TV – in fact anywhere – since its release in April.

Check out the song below - but let’s be honest there’s a reason this MOR hip-hop track sank into obscurity before the tournament kicked off: it’s dreadful!

So, 31 teams landed in Brazil, but only one can head home with the trophy. Every team can boast they’ve added a touch of beauty or energy to the tournament. But as they jet home in defeat we can at least honour those who may not have had a hope in hell of winning the competition, a special mention for inventive nicknames:

Here are the five best monikers and their meanings:

NETHERLANDS: "CLOCKWORK ORANGE"

Back in the '70s the Dutch were the masters of the beautiful game with their passing, attacking style dubbed Total Football as they lit up the ’74 and ’78 World Cups. .

At the same time Stanley Kubrick’s cult classic ‘A Clockwork Orange’, hit the big screens to controversial acclaim.

Add a splash of Orange, a symbol of their national pride, and you’ve got yourself a pretty nifty nickname.
COLOMBIA: "LOS CAFETEROS" "THE COFFEE GROWERS"

Colombia is renowned for two national exports: coffee and cocaine.

Now it’s going to be tough for any team to justify calling themselves the Cocaine Farmers or Kings of Coca, so instead they’ve settled for the Coffee Growers, ‘Los Cafeteros, which altogether has a simpler, exotic beauty to it.

GREECE: "PIRATIKO" "THE PIRATE SHIP"

Now you’d think Greece would pay homage to their heritage in their nickname, perhaps a play on the birth place of the Olympics or the gods of Greek mythology. But no; Greek commentator Georgios Halkias coined the term during a famous win against Portugal in Euro 2004. He said the team had to "become pirates and steal the victory." He was pretty prophetic though as they went on to win the tournament!

IRAN: "PRINCES OF PERSIA"

Images of kings of the Persian Empire, tombs of Achaemenid carved into a cliff and carpet sellers in colourful markets fill my mind when I think of Iran.

And although times have changed, and Iran has long ditched the name Persia, their proud and turbulent history lives on in their latest epithet.

JAPAN: "BLUE SAMURAI"

Straightforward this one; the name evokes images of sword-swinging warriors of Japanese yore and then you just add the modern colour of their football kit... “simples.”

So, to quote Porky the Pig, "That's all folks!"

World Cup 2014 is over; the end of four weeks of magnificent attacking football, fantastic goals and nerve jangling excitement.

And in the spiritual home of the sport we’ve seen moments of hilarity, bizarre behaviour and a plethora of colourful controversies.

The World Cup is not just about the football on show; it transcends sport to bring nations together for the briefest of times. It fuels excitement and anticipation for your team, and if they do well, a groundswell of national pride.

It’s also a festival of fun. The thrill of three games a day; of seeing the names of teams you only glimpse every four years like Italy, Argentina or Brazil leap out from the fixture list; or the fluttering of the multinational flags decked outside pubs up and down the country that are showing all the matches - even the crap ones!

Of course there’ll always be sad moments. Before the tournament began 8 workers perished building the stadiums which housed such wonderful matches; of controversy - accusations of excessive government spending on a month-long event despite a cash shortage in funding local infrastructure, housing conditions and education systems. But on the whole I think most will agree it’s been a spectacular once in a lifetime event.

And although it’s sad that it’s only every four years it’s also the basis of what makes the tournament so magical for everyone from fans, spectators to the players. Everyone can get involved one way or another and share in the excitement even if your team’s not in it this time.

You never know in four years time you could cheering them on in the final.

Colin Grady

When Green Lanes Said No To War

FIFA World Cup 2014